The Great Crazy Socks, Hair, & Sweater Day Scandal of 2025: EMS Strikes Again Under the Fearless Leadership of Ms. Ranger and Mr. Markuson
Wednesday, December 17th, will forever be remembered as the day the Onalaska School District woke up, chose chaos, and then doubled down.
The day began with a 2-hour late start thanks to a windstorm the night before. Power was out in many parts of the county. Roads were covered in debris. The entire district was operating at about half speed, fueled by caffeine and determination.
But did that stop the Elementary and Middle School office staff?
It did not.
While most of us were still finding our keys, the EMS office, led by their fearless leaders Ms. Ranger and Mr. Markuson, was already hard at work preparing for the next chapter in their legacy of questionable victories.
The Scandal Unfolds
Despite the chaos of the morning, the EMS crew managed to dominate, or possibly rig, the completely nonexistent competition for Crazy Socks, Hair, & Sweater Day.
Not only did they win a contest no one entered, for a contest no one judged, in a competition no one knew existed, they also brought home the trophy. The trophy they made. Again.
This marks the 3rd homemade trophy awarded to the EMS office for a contest that does not exist. At this point, their trophy shelf is beginning to tell its own outrageous story.
A Suspicious Phone Call
The situation became even more questionable after an anonymous tip was phoned in yesterday afternoon. The caller claimed that the EMS office was actively recruiting students for their team. Not subtle recruiting. Not casual recruiting. Real recruitment efforts, possibly involving charm, bribery, or the silent intimidation abilities that only office staff possess.
Coincidentally, or not, no student photos were submitted for official comparison. Not one. The timing of the tip is interesting. The lack of student submissions is even more interesting. The EMS victory is the most interesting of all.
We are not officially accusing anyone, but the anonymous caller seemed quite convinced that something unusual was happening behind the scenes.
Meanwhile, the Students Showed Up in Full Force
Even without entering this alleged competition, students embraced the spirit of Crazy Socks, Hair, & Sweater Day with enthusiasm and creativity. Highlights included:
Hair styled to hold a full plate of hot chocolate and a donut
Cupcake hair complete with sprinkles
Hair so tall it might qualify as a minor engineering project
Socks bold enough to be museum-worthy
Sweaters that made an unforgettable impression
Had the contest been real, these students would have been unbeatable.
And the Staff?
Some of the staff showed up looking like the week had personally challenged them to a duel. But after everything that happened since Monday, who wouldnโt look a little crazy?
The Results (As Declared by EMS)
In a stunning turn of events that shocked absolutely no one, the EMS crew proudly declared themselves the winners once again. Under the leadership of Ms. Ranger and Mr. Markuson, they accepted their handcrafted trophy with confidence and zero hesitation.
This brings their total to three trophies for contests that remain entirely imaginary. Impressive, in its own way.
The Legacy Continuesโฆ For Now
There are still two more spirit days left, and at this point absolutely anything is possible. This staff has already proven that they cannot be trusted around crafts, competitions, or glitter without creating another scandal. And speaking of scandal, eyewitness reports have already confirmed that Mr. Markuson has been spotted preparing his Olaf costume for Christmas Character Day on Thursday, December 18th. If that is the starting point, what on earth will the ending look like?
Will there be more trophies mysteriously appearing on the EMS shelf?
Will the EMS office continue their undefeated streak in contests that do not exist?
Will the students finally revolt and demand oversight, accountability, or at least a real judging panel?
Only time will tell, and with this crew, the story is far from over.
Just when the school community thought the EMS office had peaked during Color Wars, Tuesday, December 16th arrivedโฆ and with it, Christmas in Hawaii Day; a spirit day so vibrant, so festive, and so thoroughly embraced that the hallways felt one ukulele strum away from turning into a full luau.
Naturally, this level of excitement could only mean one thing:
The self-proclaimed winners were back.
๐ The Trophy Nobody Asked Forโฆ But Everyone Now Knows About
The EMS office staff, never ones to shy away from high-level arts and competitive mischief, unveiled a brand-new handmade trophy: crafted with such dedication, flair, and questionable amounts of rhinestone adhesive that it glimmered with the confidence of a thousand Christmas in Hawaii Days or something like that.
And who proudly hoisted this masterpiece above their heads?
None other than the dynamic principal duo: Mr. Markuson and Ms. Ranger.
With leis around their necks and victory in their eyes, they paraded through the building like two holiday cruise directors who had absolutely assigned themselves the title of Christmas in Hawaii Day Champions. Was this an actual competition?
No.
Did that stop them?
Absolutely not.
The proclamation of victory echoed through the halls long before anyone had even realized there was something to win.
๐ธ Sixth Grade: Bringing the Aloha
While the principals were basking in the glow of their unofficial triumph, Mrs. Richardson was busy capturing the real magic happening in the Middle School. Her photos perfectly bottled the spirit of โHawaiian Christmasโโsmiles, color, joy, and enough festive tropical energy to make Santa consider switching from a sleigh to a surfboard.
The students showed up in full forceโdecked out in holiday leis, floral prints, Santa hats, and enough cheer to light up the entire island of Oสปahu. Their enthusiasm radiated through every picture, proving once again that when EMS students show up, they show UP.
๐ด A School-Wide Aloha Celebration
And the rest of OSD? They didnโt hold back either.
Teachers, students, staffโeveryone leaned into the theme with the same enthusiastic unity we saw during Color Wars. The building buzzed with holiday warmth, laughter, and more Hawaiian shirts than any December day in the PNW should reasonably contain.
Never mind that it wasnโt a competition.
Never mind that no judges were appointed.
Never mind that there were no rules, no scoring system, and absolutely no reason for a trophyโฆ
The EMS office, backed by their handcrafted symbol of triumph, made sure the day ended with a dramatic flair worthy of the EMS legend they are steadily building.
Once again, Christmas in Hawaii Day became the perfect blend of fun, chaos, and school-wide joyโjust another unforgettable chapter in the ongoing saga of Onalaska spirit. Go Loggers!
Office Crew Claims Victory in Mondayโs District-Wide Color War
In a stunning display of spirit, style, and possibly a small amount of friendly scheming, the Elementary/Middle School office staff โ led boldly by Principals Mr. Larry Markuson and Ms. Ryan Ranger โ have officially declared THEMSELVES the winners of Mondayโs December 15th District-Wide Color War.
Yes, you read that correctly. They declared it. They didnโt wait for official judging, a panel of experts, or even a student vote. Why? Because winners donโt wait โ they make their own trophy.
And make one they did.
Armed with creativity, confidence, and what can only be described as championship-level enthusiasm, the EMS office team posed proudly with their handmade trophy โ a masterpiece that perfectly captured the spirit of โWe absolutely won and no one can tell us otherwise.โ
While the 6th graders came out strong in bright red and the rest of EMS shimmered in silver, it was clear from the moment the office staff assembled that they werenโt just participatingโฆ they were performing.
The 6th graders, led by Mrs. Deb Richardson, gave it their all and submitted some fantastic photos proving their spirit was alive and well (and possibly louder than ever). Their energy was top-tier, and their red wave definitely made its mark.
But the EMS office crew?
Letโs just say โ silver never shined so bright. They didnโt just dress for victoryโฆ they embodied it.
They coordinated.
They committed.
They conquered.
(And again, they built their own trophy โ which automatically earns bonus points in any unofficial-but-now-official competition.)
In the end, whether you were Team Red or Team Silver, Mondayโs Color War brought out the best of our districtโs spirit, creativity, and enthusiasm. But when the dust settled, the selfies snapped, and the trophy glue dried, one thing was clear:
โจ The EMS Office Team knocked it out of the park and into the winnerโs circle. โจ
Congratulations to all participants โ and especially to our highly self-appointed champions.
Long may their trophy reign on the front desk.
~Ms. Peters
๐ Huge Congratulations to Our Award Recipient! ๐
We are incredibly proud to share that David Stingley has been selected as the Northwestern Division recipient of the prestigious 2025โ2026 Dr. William P. Foster Project Community Development Award!
This highly competitive national honor recognizes music educators who go above and beyondโusing their band programs to uplift, inspire, and strengthen their communities. The award committee shared that:
โThis selection is a powerful testament to the inspirational leadership Mr. Stingley provides every day at Onalaska Middle/High School. Please accept our deepest congratulations on the quality of music education being accomplished in your district.โ
They went on to highlight that:
โMr. Stingley serves as a model for other teachers in underserved communities. He will be interviewed about his story and the story of your school district, which will be shared with band directors across the United States.โ
Because of Daveโs remarkable achievement, Onalaska School District will receive instruments, accessories, clinicians, and subscriptions, generously provided by Conn-Selmer Instruments and Yamaha Music Corporation. This is an exciting opportunity that will directly benefit our students and strengthen our music program for years to come.
Mr. Stingley will travel to Chicago in mid-December to be formally recognized for this outstanding accomplishment.
Please join us in congratulating Mr. Stingley on this well-deserved honor! ๐ถ๐
His dedication, passion, and leadership continue to make a powerful difference for our students and our entire community.
๐ Onalaskaโs Annual Food Drive Results Are In! ๐
Last week we wrapped up our annual districtwide food drive, and weโre thrilled to share the results! Together, our Ony students and staff collected an incredible 2,225 food items to support our community! ๐ฅซ๐๐
๐ Elementary took the win with a whopping 1,649 items collected โ amazing job! Their reward? A well-deserved pizza party, served by our Middle School friends, who brought in the fewest items this year (better luck next time, MS! ๐๐).
All donated food went to the Onalaska Backpack Program and the Salkum Food Bank, both of which directly support Onalaska families in need. ๐
๐ A huge shoutout to Mrs. Stingleyโs Leadership class for organizing, collecting, counting, and delivering all the donations. You truly embodied the Ony spirit of giving back!
We wish everyone a safe and fun evening! ๐ป
Donโt forget โ we hope to see you at the PTOโs Trunk or Treat tonight at 4:00 PM! ๐๐ฌ๐ท๏ธ
Submitted by Dr. Melissa Dunworth, our talented textiles teacher, the middle school quilting students have been busy creating some truly beautiful pieces! Each project shows just how much time, care, and creativity our students have poured into their work.
To make Halloween even more exciting, the class celebrated by getting their in-class longarm machine up and running for the first time this year! Dr. Dunworth shared that sheโs thrilled with the progress her quilting students have made โ and we can see why. Their hard work and growing skills are shining through in every stitch! ๐๐
Last Wednesday, our middle school students who met the Incentive Day goalsโno more than 5 absences, no Dโs or Fโs, no major referrals, and no more than 2 minor referralsโwere treated to a day packed with fun! ๐
They enjoyed snacks, movies, games, and art projects all day long! ๐ฟ๐จโ๏ธ
It was a well-deserved celebration of hard work, great behavior, and dedication to doing their best every day. ๐๐
#OnyPride #MiddleSchoolMoments #IncentiveDay
Mrs. Heuvelโs science students took us on a trip through space with their amazing research presentations. ๐ Great job, scientists! ๐๐
Our middle school students were treated to a special reward for their stellar grades and excellent attendance! ๐
Weโre so proud of their hard work, dedication, and positive attitude. Keep up the great effort, Loggers โ success looks good on you! ๐๐โจ
Seven Onalaska Middle School students, along with their teacher Mrs. Anne Stingley, attended the annual Expanding Your Horizons conference at Centralia College last Saturday.
This event is designed to spark studentsโ interest in STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Art, and Math) careers while helping them explore the wide variety of opportunities available in these fields.
Students participated in a hands-on science workshop presented by OMSI, where they learned about Newtonโs Three Laws of Motion. They also had the chance to attend two additional workshops of their choice, diving deeper into topics that inspired their curiosity.
Attending students included Wesley Manes, Leo Connelly, Orion Cherry, Zeke Cherry, Heather Hanson, Laura Hanson, Alyx Jarvis, and Kody Lohrengel.
It was an exciting and educational day filled with discovery, teamwork, and inspiration for our future scientists, engineers, and innovators!
Our Middle School Textile students, led by Dr. Melissa Dunworth, have been busy learning the art of sewing! These talented students recently completed their first projects of the year, and their hard work truly shines through.
Dr. Dunworth shared, โMiddle School sewing students have been working hard on their first projects of the year! Here is a selection of some of our finished projects!โ
The collage showcases each studentโs unique quilt square, filled with color, creativity, and care. Itโs wonderful to see students learning hands-on skills that combine patience, craftsmanship, and self-expression.
Great job, sewing students โ your work is sew impressive! ๐ชก๐
